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Teacher Retreat #468971

26 July 2011

Pre-retreat conversation:

THEM (as in overly excited teachers amped to go on this trip):  Please choose the duration of the trip.  LONG or SHORT.

ME (as in not particularly wanting to go this summer for no real reason): SHORT

THEM: Long it is.

~~~~

THEM: (as in every colleague who has asked me one bazillion times why I don’t eat meat) Choose your lunch for the retreat- chicken, fish, or duck.

ME: (flabbergasted that I have to have this conversation once again) I am vegetarian.  I don’t eat meat. 

THEM: Ok.  Chicken it is.

~~~~

Day of retreat conversation:

THEM: (As in person responsible for informing me about said retreat) Did you bring your swimming suit?

ME: (As in dying to wear my swimsuit at least once this summer but unable to due to mass amounts of rain) NO! You didn’t tell me too!

THEM: Oh, that’s too bad.

~~~~

THEM: (As in it’s 10.00am) Beer?

ME: (As in it’s 10.00am) ABSOLUTELY!

~~~~

THEM: (As in lucky enough to know of these sweet ass places to go) Isn’t it beautiful?

ME: (As in wishing my camera didn’t die at our first stop)  ABSOLUTELY!

~~~~

THEM: (As in they who have been noraebanging since 10am) Sing us a song, Lori!

ME: (As in been listening to their noraebanging since 10am) No, thank you.

THEM: You MUST sing a song.

ME: No, thank you.

THEM: No, really.  The principal demands it.

ME: No, really.  I don’t want to sing.

THEM: Ok, I will choose for you. 

ME: No, really.  I don’t want to.

THEM: But, Lori. YOU must. 

ME: I don’t think that is in my contract.

THEM: Ok, ABBA then?

ME:  (as in uber-annoyed and trying to maintain from punching someone in the face, look for Cee Lo’s newest and greatest number in the song book.)

~~~~

THEM: (as in @*#(&%*#^*&) BEER?

ME: (as in @*#(&%*#^*&) ABSOLUTELY!

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